Shouting Grounds

That's a nice polished turd you have there.

All that work to dress up his 360 and notice the horrible grinding noise the disc drive makes right before the end of the video. I sent in one of my 360’s due to that grinding, and the other destroys any disc you put in.
Summary: Microsoft Xbox 360 sucks heavy dick.

If anyone has thought about calling Microsoft for help, you might as well staple your dick (or cunt) to your forehead, then do a back bend. I was just told by a supervisor at Microsoft XBox support that I had two options when dealing with my latest xbox 360 problem, I could either pay them over $100 to fix it or hang-up the phone.

According to her, there are no other authority figures that you can speak to once you’ve spoken to her. She only has a first name (Crystal) but no last name and no employee number. They all have email addresses, but they will not give them out. Every time you call about an issue you are treated like you had never called before. If their representatives don’t keep accurate records on your account then that’s your problem, not theirs. If you have one problem they will replace your system for up to three years, another (possibly more serious) problem and you have to pay for the repairs. You basically have two options. You can either pay or hang-up. They will refuse to help you nor care about the time and money they’ve taken from you because they are unable to take responsibility for their actions. There’s no accountability because the person you deal with is interchangeable and no empathy because all responses are scripted. Microsoft is truly the worst company I have ever personally dealt with and I will NEVER pay them another dime and I vow to dedicate all remaining effort to discourage ANYONE else from purchasing their products or services.

I just bought an N64 from a garage sale for $5. It came with Golden Eye and two controllers. It was very poorly kept and seemed to have grass and dirt inside the console. The cartridge slot was not in good shape either. Guess what….the fucking system works perfectly. My Dreamcast, which I bought back in 1999, works perfectly. My Saturn, which I bought second hand around the same time, works perfectly. My Nintendo from 1986, WORKS FUCKING PERFECTLY!!!

I’ve had 4 Xbox 360’s since 2006, and guess what….they are ALL FUCKED!!!!! Now the latest problem is that the system is chewing up my game discs!! hahahaha, fucking awesome. Not only does the system lock up in the middle while playing but it’s chewing up my $60 games, making them useless coasters, isn’t that fucking sweet!!! Thanks Microsoft!! That’s great to know that this problem-that’s costing me more money as time rolls by-is NOT covered by my warranty. Thanks Crystal, for being a useless, stonewalling CUNT! My hats off to you! There are so many more important problems in the world but I can’t avoid being insanely pissed off by such a large company SHITTING on people who shell out good money to support their products.

It is with this I leave you with my final solution. I will be filming the destruction of my Xbox 360 Pro system. I will crush the fucking thing on film then proceed to piss all over it. If you’re all lucky I will also take a huge muddy shit on it’s fractured husk. Fuck! That’s what I should have done the moment I bought it, because that would have saved me thousands of dollars in games, accessories, and online purchases. Would have been the smartest thing I could have done after having bought the thing at Circuit City.

I leave you with a trip down “Fucked by Microsoft Lane” buffeted by photo highlights of the life and death of my xbox 360’s. Fuck em all!

UPDATE

If you visit the website referenced in the support document image above you get this fucking bullshit…

UPDATE 2

Everything left that works is going out the door.

eBay Auction

First off, FUCK MICROSOFT SUPPORT! Ok, with that out of the way I can get down to the nitties underneath the shit-stain that is Microsoft. I’ve been spending a bit of my time lately giving the company another chance after countless disappointments. Well I’ve been reminded that I shouldn’t trust this corporation to make the right decisions and that they need to seriously reconsider their current support outsourcing arrangements.

Pop Quiz:

Q: What’s worse than feeling that you have no control over a situation and that you are at the mercy of some call-center cog who not only doesn’t understand your problem but is unable to discuss a solution outside of what’s on their call script?

A: Having no control over a situation whilst being at the mercy of some call-center cog who not only doesn’t understand your problem but is unable to discuss a solution outside of what’s on their call script.

To the technician I spoke to last night regarding the 30 days I’ve waited for a box to ship my second busted ass console. Oh, and they hadn’t even sent me a single email after having spoken to three different jackoffs, explicitly asked to do so….anyways:

First off “Josh”, your name isn’t fucking “Josh”, ok? Do you honestly think that I’m going to treat you any different when you give me a fake name and try to shove apple pie up my ass? Yes, granted, you may have a doctorate and speak many more tongues than Sulu’s had in his asshole but when you “stick to the script” you sound like a moron.

Secondly,

To the stupid shit who came up with the voice and character for the automated xbox support line:

Eat my shit

Starting every sentence with “hey” in a raspy bullshit fashion makes me want to snap my phone in half.

Summary:
Raspy, Gen-Y, Techie, Male, Automated Voice who Uses Contractions: “Hey, I see you’ve already got a xbox service order…”
Me: “Fuck you”
RGTMAVUC: “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that, yo-”
Me: “FUCK YOU”
RGTMAVUC: “Gotcha…”
Me: *click*

In closing, if you feel you need a frustrating experience under your belt before you expire via your usual auto-erotic asphyxiation session try XBOX Support.