Shouting Grounds

I was recently given access to a full installation of Office 2008 for Mac at my job and was interested in checking out what new features and functionality were included in the new version. Since it’s the first in the Office line to be installed as a Universal Binary I was very excited to ditch the Office v.X copy that’s been languishing on my laptop for a few years. After the 30 minute install I was a little disgruntled to find that a new set of Office Aliases were copied into my Dock without an obvious choice to do so during the setup, but, that aside, I started Word to see what new stuff awaited.

I find, to my horror, that the Word 2008 for Mac looks damn near exactly like Pages ’08 (in fact all versions of Pages). See below:

The screen capture on the left is Word 2008 and the one on the right is Pages ’08. Apart from some minor differences in the interface, you’d have thought that these two programs were part of the same family or even the same software with a different configuration. Now this isn’t a full review of the software, I really haven’t had a chance to play with Word too much to give a proper assessment of its capabilities. It looks very powerful and from what I’ve attempted it functions very well and uses a lot of OS X features that were ignored for so many years. Of them, Spotlight support in Entourage, realtime options, but no CoreImage rendering. It seems Microsoft is choosing to go with their own engine for visuals over what’s readily available to any OS X developer.

Details aside, it’s very difficult to pay attention to this new application as it has so much in common with a bundle of applications you can buy for 80 bucks! Namely, iWork ’08. And is it just me or does Entourage 2008 look like shit? For something that you have to look at everyday, it sure needs some work in the usability/visibility area. Messages are clumped together and attachments are either exposed in this bulky pane with vertically stacked buttons that take up nearly all of the reading pane, or are collapsed into a read-only view where the files can’t be right-clicked or interacted with. The folder, to the left, hierarchy looks completely fucked together. Cluttered and confusing, with a series of view options visible by default which add nothing to average user. I know what you’re saying, “Leopard comes with default search views in the finder that I don’t use”. Well, I happen to use a least one of those search views daily, and there’s not fifty of them filling up the screen.

All I’m saying is that if I had to make the choice between buying Office 2008 for Mac and iWork ’08, I’d go for the $80 package that does 90% of what Office does and maybe a few things that it doesn’t. You can keep Entourage.

It looks like Apple pulled some good news out of their asses today, without much fan fair. iPhone and iPod Touch models are now available in capacities twice what they were offering yesterday. That’s equates to 16GB for the iPhone and 32GB for the iPod Touch. Both units are running for $499. Cool to see that in this short amount of time my hard disk based iPod (gen5) has been eclipsed by a flash memory device….with way more features. Gotta love progress.

Ok guys, enough’s enough, for Christ’s sake! Stop releasing your software so that when you mount the disk image the finder window, that presents your application, is in simple mode!!! It is especially annoying when you don’t place a complementary link to the local Applications folder.

LOOK!

That is a stupid way of doing things! The finder is so rich and useful now, why the fuck do we need to keep living the < OS 9 days?! Simple-ass windows.

Each time you download an application that behaves like this. You have to click on the button in the top right corner to see the following Finder window, then drag the application to your Application folder:

I know what you’re thinking, no big deal, and you’re right. Although, when you multiply that “no big deal” by 10123123 times you get a pissed off user. A lot of applications are designed to be updated by downloading the whole application over again. Once you have the updated application file, you drag it to the Application folder and overwrite the original. Easy. All you preferences are saved, registration info, etc. The problem is when you have to add a extra step into that process it gets old, quick.

So to all you OS X developers out there, listen up! You are so close to app-install nirvana you are suffering an Icarusarian fall from grace. Keep the Finder alone, ok? I don’t like simple-mode and I never did. Cut that shit out.

Update – 2/1/2008

To clear up any confusion over what I’m actually bitching about. I had unknowingly used the term “simple finder” to describe a finder window with the hidden toolbar option enabled, for lack of a better phrase. So my real beef is with developers who prefer this “hidden toolbar” finder setting, and tend to us this view setting when packaging their application disk images.

I really like Vector Designer….did I say that already for Christ’s sake?

Update! 1/29/2008 – This shit is really fun, seriously…

“When Apple introduced the MacBook Air, they detailed a new feature called “Remote Disc” which makes up for the lack of a standard optical drive in the MacBook Air. Remote Disc allows the MacBook Air to wirelessly use a PC or Mac optical drive as if it were its own. Included with this functionality is the ability for the MacBook Air to wirelessly boot off of a Remote Disc shared drive. This means that if your MacBook Air requires an emergency boot or fresh reinstall, it can be done without the $99 external SuperDrive.

This added functionality required changes in the Extensible Firmware Interface (EFI) and is not presently available on other Macs.

…

Update: We’ve been told that Mac OS X 10.5.2 will bring wireless booting to all Macs. “

Now wireless booting via shared disk, I can use. I wonder what the limitations of the remote disc software will be regarding the amount of clients that can boot. Of course you take a slow medium like an optical disc, then add the lag of a networking framework, probably wouldn’t make sense. Hopefully the rumors about 10.5.2 enabling this feature on the rest of the macs are true, but I won’t be truly excited until they allow boot via a mounted hard drive. The old G5 needs a firewire drive to boot externally and it’d be nice to have some flexibility there, in case I hose the ports with another bunk Lacie disk.

I recently watched the introduction video on the MacBook Air, and since the site has become a purely MacBook Air discussion board I thought I would chime in on some of the problems I see that will affect all users (regardless of aptitude) who use the laptop.

1. The backlit keyboard

Jesus Christ! What the hell has happened to Apple quality and control?! I appreciate a backlit keyboard, in fact, I love them, but the one installed in the Air looks more like a shitty Saitek gamers keyboard. Lets compare the proper way (MacBook Pro) and the improper way (MacBook Air).

MacBook Pro:

Notice the fine detail on the keys and lack of splash-through. After having seen this keyboard in action I was envious that the standard MacBook didn’t have the feature because it is truly slick. The transition between not using it (well lit environment) and using it (dark environment) is seamless. Smooth transition and just enough light to be useful. Now let’s compare the MacBook Air illumination…

MacBook Air:

Notice the bleed-through on the sides of the keys that not only lights up the key but the surrounding border. Some of the keys in the middle seem well isolated but the rest are sloppy, which will no doubt cause of fatigue and annoyance on the part of the user with extended usage. This seems like a feature that they tacked on at the last minute because they can’t really sell to business users without this. IBM has been including comparable illuminated keyboards on thinkpads for a while now.

2. The expansion ports

They have received so much attention for their “lack of expansion”. Whether you think that a single usb port, headphone jack, and mini-DVI output are enough (I don’t) you would at least like to use them together if at all.

With the spacing that they allow between these pint-sized ports how the fuck are you going to connect the majority of USB components at the same time you’re using the mini-DVI? There just isn’t enough of a gap to connect, let’s say a Cellular USB dongle (without a USB extender), next to a display cable. Stupid decisions like this, similar to placing USB ports side by side, right on top of each other, or in recessed areas make connecting peripherals a pain in the ass. And you certainly don’t want to make connecting shit a pain in the ass when you have a barebones selection of ports like on the MacBook Air

Also, look at the fold-out port, 50 bucks says that that’s the first thing to get snapped out of the thing. It’s probably seated in there on a plastic rail with only lose wires to keep it from falling out should the rails fail. Anything with this sort of “feature” should be passed over, unless (since I haven’t physically seen the laptop) it’s built in some amazingly stable manner (which I doubt).

Just another set of reasons to hold of swiping your card on this thing, if lack of expansion, price, and general Apple hatred weren’t enough.

Owned.

“In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely.“

-Hunter S Thompson, Gonzo Papers, Vol. 1: The Great Shark Hunt: Strange Tales from a Strange Time (1979)

“So why are you arguing with me then? … Wouldn’t that also apply to your bitching about Rods, Frank Luntz, or any of the other shit you’ve complained about on this page?”

You’re all over the fucking place here. Assholes like Frank Luntz impact the outcome of national elections, which affects you, me, and damn near everyone else in the world. Moronic assholes and bitches talking about RODS and not knowing whether the Earth is flat add to the decay of our “Modern American Intellect”, which affects all of us. Your critique of a computer you will never own, running an operating system you’d never use, is fine. But I can’t understand your interest since you’ve committed nothing, so you’ve lost nothing. You obviously care about no one but yourself and your idea of what value is. It seems you’re more upset about having your gadget boner teased to the point of nerd-gasm, only to have some internal obstacle prevent the final thrust. So you shit all over Apple and their users and DEFEND Sony?! That’s a laugh! To what length’s dear Magi, to what lengths…

The fact that you fill your Apple Store shopping cart with mac mini’s then try to tuck tail and run at the last moment is your problem. The issue I have with this whole line you bark is that you have to bring all the Mac users into the mix when you start bitching about shit that you haven’t used expensively, and that get’s old quick. I know you read blogs out there where “mac fanboys” say stupid shit, but you know the same is true about PC users. “Anonymous: Fuck Mac’s” springs to mind…

You make it seem like anyone who buys a Mac is retarded because it doesn’t have some feature that you like, or that they sell their machines for more money than if you assembled one from scratch. Well I’m sorry but those things are the same goddamn thing. I’ve made this fucking website on a Mac as well as all the music I’ve produced for the last 7 years and I’ll tell you this; I don’t regret buying into Mac at all and having done so has been nothing but beneficial creatively and professionally.

And stop with the sanctimonious free-speech horseshit because I disagree with your points and ask you to forget about an unpleasant topic before you herniate yourself.

Now for the mockery:
oh, the regret! To clasp thine hands in bondage, humble serf, tie thine tongue twixt the buttux of injustice, yey, the melancholia! abash!

“Walt Sparks here, and I’m dead”

“Ok, so why do you even care? Change the channel if you don’t like it, there are plenty of people who would buy this thing (myself not included).”

So why are you arguing with me then? By your logic, you should just “change the channel“…right? Wouldn’t that also apply to your bitching about Rods, Frank Luntz, or any of the other shit you’ve complained about on this page? Shouldn’t you have changed the channel instead of jumping on here to launch into a bitch fest? I was writing my assessment of a new piece of hardware. Granted, I knew full well that you’d jump to Apple’s defense…whether you intend to buy this thing or not.

BTW, the reasons you cited against the Sony are total fanboy shit…and I noticed you didn’t mention all the things that that the Sony has that the Air doesn’t and never will (replaceable battery, DVD burner, integrated cellular modem, etc.). If you absolutely have to, you can add a camera for $30, and some of us are perfectly happy NOT using OS X, believe it or not…whether I pay for the software I use or not, it’s still WINDOWS BASED SOFTWARE, numbnuts. I’m relatively certain that if I wanted to, I could get *free* software for a Mac. Nothing you can say about MacOS equals the cost difference that Apple demands for their overpriced yuppie computers…not by a long shot.

This is last I’m going to say about this topic, because it’s clear that even with overwhelming logic and cold-hard facts, you won’t be able to take your Apple-branded glasses off long enough to allow someone else to give their opinion of this bullshit. Instead of feeling free to say what I want about Apple’s ‘innovation’, I’ll just change the fuckin channel.

“Don’t assume that I want to ‘run OS X natively’ either…I’m fine with all of the applications I have [STOLEN] that run in windows, thank you.” (emphasis, truth mine)

Ok, so why do you even care? Change the channel if you don’t like it, there are plenty of people who would buy this thing (myself not included). One of the people I work with is preordering one today with the SSD option. Soothsaying aside, I think apple will be just fine. People who want more options but can care less about the size, weight, and looks will buy the Pro or the MacBook.

Also, that Sony that you quoted is a Sony, remember (with no camera, not as light, doesn’t come with iLife ’08, and doesn’t run OS X [without an assload of hassle])? You get what you pay for.

I’m mean you’re just like me. You complain about people being stupid (by our opinion) in being “duped” by products we deem inferior. You think that about the majority if not all of Apple’s products, and I feel that about the PC platform and the majority of what Microsoft produces.

Oddly enough the people who we complain about buy this stuff, use it, and we support them. They actually produce we just bitch about the technology and help them use it.

Good points to be sure, but I did say in both articles that I’m not a journalist, nor do I play one on TV. It’s simply my duty to point out that Apple is trying to explain that simply deleting 75% of a normal laptops features to make their laptop superthin is an innovative approach.

How innovative is software that ‘borrows’ the optical drive from another computer? Some call it a network share. Not to mention the fact that included in the box with the Airess is an OSX install DVD that you won’t be able to run unless you buy their usb superdrive…right?

The permanent battery is a total fuck over on their part. You can’t tell me that they couldn’t have made a battery compartment similar to that on a cellphone for battery removal…they are simply guaranteeing a future profit when you have to have a genius replace your battery for an exorbitant fee.

Don’t assume that I want to ‘run OS X natively’ either…I’m fine with all of the applications I have that run in windows, thank you.

And as for the Sony (re: less features, more money)…oops…

Not to be too stand-off-ish here but your 2 year old laptop probably doesn’t weigh 3 pounds, have built-in 802.11n, or run OS X natively, so as far as comparisons go its a little misleading. I’m personally pissed about the non-servicable battery in the fucking thing, but I digress…

Some oversights:

1. You have the option (though at $1200, I wouldn’t pay for it) to get a 64GB SSD drive installed instead of the 80GB 1.8″ SATA
2. Your laptop and the MacBook Air are in different classes entirely. Ultraportables are going to cost more and have less features. Look at Sony…
3. Who the FUCK would shell out 2 grand on a MacBook Air and still be using dialup?!
4. You can buy USB cellular modems (Sprint’s Sierra Wireless models are my favorite, EVO rev.A baby!) and don’t have to get a PCMCIA, ExpressCard or built-in option, so that’s mute.
5. Though it’s not my cup of teabags, I’m sure there are people out there who would seriously be interested in a model that is less complicated, and with the right (see: large) amount of money can have a 13″ dual core widescreen laptop with no moving parts.

You have to admit that some of the things you want in a laptop are detriments to others. And don’t assume that just because someone doesn’t want an optical drive on their laptop that they are too stupid to know what one is used for. You’ve stated pretty clearly that you fell that this isn’t your favorite Apple product released of late, and that’s fine. But the impression that I’m getting from your thoughtful response it that you feel that if something it negative to your computer needs then it should be marketed negatively.

e.g.
MacBook Air – It doesn’t even have an ethernet port…
MacBook Air – What’s a DVD?

Well, in response to that, the original iMac was built around simplicity and it sold very well. It pulled out the floppy drive and relied on a new and unloved port, that being the Universal Serial Bus (not really supported by many PC’s at the time), which is now the the calk of the walk. A lot a people (the computer savvy) were upset about the loss of the floppy and standard mac serial ports, but these changes brought the Mac to a usability and compatibility that Mac users pre-1995 wouldn’t even have dreamed of.

Honestly I can’t remember the last time I connected my laptop via ethernet (minus at work where it doesn’t move around). Maybe an all wireless device is the way to go, as long at the N speeds are satisfactory. At least you have the option of adding one with an adapter should you feel the need. When the serial ports were pulled out of Mac’s in the 90′s you had to buy serial to USB adapters too.

Sure, the marketing can get out of control, but that’s marketing, to sell you on it’s pluses. Even if some of its pluses are minuses to some.

In short:

It’s bad, but it’s not that bad.

Magic John Stone here with more rage focused on everyone’s favorite Zealots. Ever since Tuesday, when I wrote my article about the Air blowing (lol), I’ve read at least an article a day about the Air and how Apple is trying to trick-fuck consumers into biting the bullet for 1800 clams (plus tax, warranty, etc.).

Part of me is saddened by Apple’s latest release. On the surface, the Air gives me a vlasic pickle with it’s Airstream looks and simplicity. However, therein lies the problem. Apple’s betting that because their new product petrifies your stick that you’ll “Just Buy One”…hoping that it’ll “Just Work”. Well, in order for me (again, other than blogging, I’m no journalist) to “Just Work” with an Air with the versatility of my 2 year old Dell, I’d have to spill the following dosh:

Base Price: $1899.99
Superdrive: $99.99
Ethernet Adapter: $29.99
Modem Adapter: $49.99
AppleCare: $249.99
——————
Total: $2225.00

Granted, the Air does have a 1.6 C2D and 2gb ram, while my XPS has only a 2.0 Pm and 1 gb ram. However I’ve got a 100gb 7200rpm drive, vs a max 80 5400rpm drive on the Air. I’ve also got s-video out, a mic port, PCMCIA, 4x the usb ports, standard VGA out, a built-in DVD burner, a 14″ screen and a battery that I can replace. Then I added a usb TV tuner and usb GPS module, and Dell’s 3 year support. For $1800. And that was 2 years ago.

I guess where I have a problem with this situation is how as usual, Apple’s acting like they’ve invented a new class of technology through some magical innovation. Well, stripping off an optical drive, 75% of the ports and making the battery non-user replaceable isn’t innovation, it’s just country dumb.

What makes the Air so thin?
Apple: “Practically every detail that could be streamlined has been.”
Magic John Stone:
“Duh…streamlined right-the-fuck off”

So many innovations, so little space.
Apple: “The incredible thinness of MacBook Air is the result of numerous size- and weight-shaving innovations. From a slimmer hard drive to strategically hidden I/O ports to a lower-profile battery, everything has been considered and reconsidered with thinness in mind..”
Magic John Stone:
“Strategically hidden, like gone? Consider that the ports are there because people need them”

Built for the wireless world.
Apple: “MacBook Air is designed and engineered to take full advantage of the wireless world”
Magic John Stone:
“Built for a wireless world that doesn’t include laptops that use either built in 3G cellular or have PCMCIA slots for cellular expansion cards”

In describing the Air:
Apple: “Thinnovation”
Magic John Stone:
“An all around ass-rape that you can mail in a standard envelope”

Yeah, the Air is the first laptop that I know of that has an LED-lit screen…but they aren’t the first to show the technology, it’s been out for months already. Sacrificing function for form isn’t new for Apple, their affordable class of pc, the iMac, takes all of your expansion ability away. Last I checked, it didn’t cost more to build expandability into PC components. And wasn’t the whole ‘advantage’ to switching from apple-hardware to pc-hardware many moons ago to invite more expansion and lower costs? Seems like all that did was expand Apple’s profit margin.

So, in closing, fuck you Apple! Keep fucking early adopters with your tiny product cycles, shit pricing schemes and software trickery. I was smitten with the iPhone until I saw what happened to the people that bought gen1 (double memory, cheaper price after 2 months), and then what happened to people that bought the gen1 iPod Touch (must fork over more money for now standard software), and now how you’re dragging your balls on integrating IM, flash, and other features to the iPhone that would make it truly must-have.