If anyone has thought about calling Microsoft for help, you might as well staple your dick (or cunt) to your forehead, then do a back bend. I was just told by a supervisor at Microsoft XBox support that I had two options when dealing with my latest xbox 360 problem, I could either pay them over $100 to fix it or hang-up the phone.
According to her, there are no other authority figures that you can speak to once you’ve spoken to her. She only has a first name (Crystal) but no last name and no employee number. They all have email addresses, but they will not give them out. Every time you call about an issue you are treated like you had never called before. If their representatives don’t keep accurate records on your account then that’s your problem, not theirs. If you have one problem they will replace your system for up to three years, another (possibly more serious) problem and you have to pay for the repairs. You basically have two options. You can either pay or hang-up. They will refuse to help you nor care about the time and money they’ve taken from you because they are unable to take responsibility for their actions. There’s no accountability because the person you deal with is interchangeable and no empathy because all responses are scripted. Microsoft is truly the worst company I have ever personally dealt with and I will NEVER pay them another dime and I vow to dedicate all remaining effort to discourage ANYONE else from purchasing their products or services.
I just bought an N64 from a garage sale for $5. It came with Golden Eye and two controllers. It was very poorly kept and seemed to have grass and dirt inside the console. The cartridge slot was not in good shape either. Guess what….the fucking system works perfectly. My Dreamcast, which I bought back in 1999, works perfectly. My Saturn, which I bought second hand around the same time, works perfectly. My Nintendo from 1986, WORKS FUCKING PERFECTLY!!!
I’ve had 4 Xbox 360′s since 2006, and guess what….they are ALL FUCKED!!!!! Now the latest problem is that the system is chewing up my game discs!! hahahaha, fucking awesome. Not only does the system lock up in the middle while playing but it’s chewing up my $60 games, making them useless coasters, isn’t that fucking sweet!!! Thanks Microsoft!! That’s great to know that this problem-that’s costing me more money as time rolls by-is NOT covered by my warranty. Thanks Crystal, for being a useless, stonewalling CUNT! My hats off to you! There are so many more important problems in the world but I can’t avoid being insanely pissed off by such a large company SHITTING on people who shell out good money to support their products.
It is with this I leave you with my final solution. I will be filming the destruction of my Xbox 360 Pro system. I will crush the fucking thing on film then proceed to piss all over it. If you’re all lucky I will also take a huge muddy shit on it’s fractured husk. Fuck! That’s what I should have done the moment I bought it, because that would have saved me thousands of dollars in games, accessories, and online purchases. Would have been the smartest thing I could have done after having bought the thing at Circuit City.
I leave you with a trip down “Fucked by Microsoft Lane” buffeted by photo highlights of the life and death of my xbox 360′s. Fuck em all!
UPDATE
If you visit the website referenced in the support document image above you get this fucking bullshit…
UPDATE 2
Everything left that works is going out the door.
May 26th, 2008 at 7:31 am
Shit man that fucking sucks. I think the best thing you can do at this point is just cut your losses and like you say, leave Microsoft alone. Any company is only as good as their support and obviously MS is the shitty of the shittiest. Comcast is the EXACT same way! I’m looking forward to this video however. I expect nothing less than Oscar quality material.
May 26th, 2008 at 8:34 am
Sell the games on eBay or Craigslist and then smash the 360 on film. Box it up and send it back to Microsoft without a return address. Scratch out the serial number if registered. Put a nasty-gram in there too. Don’t piss on it. FUCK Microsoft.
And you know what the best part of this all is? If you were a 10 year old, playing your new xBox 360 after one white Christmas morning, and it then fails, what do you do? How would you feel? What and how far can the parents take it? When it all comes down to it, the 360 is a toy, and toys are expected to work…allowing a child to play it for the length of his childhood pretty much. Two years of service is ridiculous. It’s obvious that any 10 year old kid would be left in the dust with Microsoft’s bullshit tech support and warranty plan. There’d be no way he could win…and after a couple of trys, even the parent’s would give up, as you did just now.
That’s what pisses me off in the grand scheme of things. I always said that the video games were following our generation. This further bolsters the idea.
May 26th, 2008 at 9:32 am
This was absolutely the worst experience ever. I actually called the line last night, too, to try to scream at these fuckers. Every time JT calls he gets someone from India. This time we actually got someone in the states, but we probably would have gotten further with a support tech from India. The ‘supervisor’ on the phone was the biggest bitch in the universe. Yes, we made it past the initial tech guy to a supervisor because of our escalated problems– you’d think they would be willing to help, right? Wrong. What a whore. I’m mad now too! I sat there and argued with the bitch before handing the phone off to JT — who also tried to reason with her to no avail.
I said the same thing about what if this were a kid? It blows my mind that Microsoft makes so much money and can’t even support their customers. I’m also encouraging JT to sell all the games on ebay. And I do agree that he should piss on the piece of shit. The whole thing is just really sad… especially since it wouldnt cost Microsoft that much to just make good on their error. Someone really needs to file a class action lawsuit on these fucks…
May 26th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
So is the Core you are selling in the auction okay? In your post you say you all the XBox’s you’ve had over the years are all fucked. If the core is still okay then why not just keep using that one?
May 26th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
The Core system is the machine I just got back from service and is running ok, so far. But why bother continuing to bother when at any moment it could start eating my games just like the pro system’s doing now? I might as well get some of my money back, while I can. Also, as inferred in my post, I’m not going to sit by and continue paying Xbox Live subscription fees and playing along like I’m not insanely pissed at these assholes. Might as well cut my losses and move on. I’ve cancelled my Live subscription and had them remove my credit card information. Also since the auction just closed, I’m officially not an xbox owner anymore. I can’t have fun when I have ZERO confidence in this thing.
Of course someone else will have all the luck and not have a single problem with it, but that person’s not me, obviously. And don’t worry I’m not going to take this money and put it up my nose.
May 26th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Well no one can say you weren’t an upstanding supporter of the XBox. That’s what really pisses me off about it, is that you were like the best fucking customer on the face of the planet and they still saw fit to fuck you over. Well grats on the auction anyway bro. Oh yeah, I started playing GTA4 too.
May 27th, 2008 at 7:52 am
w0w…
when’s the big destructo-fest gonna be? we should bbq the fucker and post it on you tube for the mASSes to consume.
May 27th, 2008 at 10:32 am
The sooner the better. I’ve got a huge axe and sledge hammer. We can do it this weekend, but we just need to go to a park or something to “take care of business” because I’m sure my neighbors would call the cops or something; screaming and carrying on. And I’m definitely posting that shit. We’ll capture that shit in HD.
May 27th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
My guess is anyone that sees you bludgeoning a 360 in a park is going to call the police…since most people are god-fearing halfwits.
Better to do it like we did the lightning-stricken 300gb Maxtor drive…find a quiet sidestreet and drop some heavy rocks on it. Put a board over it and then squish it with your car. We definitely need to set that fucker ablaze.
May 27th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
no doubt, flames are on the agenda. I also like the “running over with car” idea. I was thinking of charging up a UPS then smashing the thing while it was running off that battery; might get some sparks to fly. I have those Burger King game discs left, so I’ll put em in there (all three) and listen to them spin up, before axing, crushing, then flaming the box. I was also thinking about tying a chain to it them swinging it around and whipping it into the ground, or tossing it hammer-style.
May 27th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
You should add some theatrics too. Maybe have a short clip of you reading off the many offenses of MS and the xBox then sentencing it to death by total annihilation. What would be really cool is if you did it like the “Zod and Company” sentencing scene in Superman. Just a shaft of light on the xBox as you read off it’s atrocities then proceed to destroy it.
May 27th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
two words: VIKING FUNERAL
May 27th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
GIVE THAT MAN A CIGAR!
May 27th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
That’s the spirit laddie!!
May 27th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
On Lake Tarper?
May 28th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Now that I’m thinking about it, I think that a Viking Funeral would be too respectful of an event for something that’s caused so much misery. Maybe bury it in a shallow grave after everything we do to it, and maybe put an upside down cross to mark the site. So everyone knows the unholiness that lies beneath the surface.
May 28th, 2008 at 8:23 am
Given the once high-so-high regard that you once held the box in, I’d think this would be fitting. Not to mention a hell of a spectacle. We could pack it with crushed sparklers so that it’s sure to melt down into nothingness…throw in a smoke bomb and a few other things.